another

when the words come across your computer screen
that he died
the one who could have been my husband
or your brother
or our friend
do you feel it too?
the...oh god....
or is it...oh God...

it's not 'why?' that's a rookie question
and we're veterans
it's more like, 'really?....again?'
another bomb detonated
in another young family
they just don't make words
for how sad it is

does it ever make you want to run home to your family
and hug them a little tighter?
does it ever make you want to run the other direction
towards something
involving too much alcohol and a primal scream?

is it just me that thinks we shouldn't
have to each read it hidden behind our own screens
reading bad forwarded jokes one minute
and learning of someone's death the next?
that there should be more...
more honor
more feeling it together
at least talking
or commiserating
or dare i say...closure

and we might
sometimes we do
but we might not
in fact we probably won't
because time marches on
and after all
he wasn't our husband
or brother
and let's face it
if we started, we might never stop.

when you read it,
do you have that mini silent grieving
where your eyes close gently and there's that little squeezing ache
in that place where there's no visible organ?
or do you deflect it or repel it
like water on ducks?
you know though,
those ducks that seem to glide across the surface
are paddling like hell underneath just to stay afloat.
i'm just saying...

and so it is... another experience lived
another privilege had
another card sent
another blog post written
another big sigh
another moving on